TPG 8: They Can Get It If They Want IT

“They can get it if they want to…”

I was horrified when a fellow employee made this statement. As we walked down Jasper Avenue, this PhD in human geography looked at the homeless in disgust. Not with the disgust that compassionate and caring people have. They are disgusted that other human beings are forced to endure such a life. Compassionate people understand that, “there but for the good fortune of their own life, go they”. Unfortunately, the PhD whose parents were both PhDs and very rich, was the most over-educated ignoramus I have ever met. These people were simply messing up her walk and had no reason to be there in such a state. “They can get it if they want to…” she stated, “All men are created equal!”

And, she believed it! In her mind, they could obtain a PhD if they set their mind to it. I pleaded with her in the usual way, “Have you ever heard of poverty, mental illness, social isolation…? What about social opportunity? It was her insistence that these human beings choose to be poor, uneducated and unemployed, that got me thinking. Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Outliers, examines very successful people. After acknowledging their innate talents, Gladwell goes on to describe the fortuitous social environments that were essential to each success story. Gladwell’s point is that even if you are a genius, you need opportunity.

Opportunity and ‘Luck’ are the same thing. The first and most important lucky break in your life, is what kind of family you land in. Are your parents, well educated, well mannered, well off, kind and caring? Or, are they, poor, ignorant, fearful and abusive? In reality, only a small percentage of children raise above their parents accomplishments. Children learn from the examples set for them. It is not because, ‘they don’t want IT’, it may be because they have no idea what ‘IT’ is. Picture being born into any of the three families below.

In family number one, if John laid on the couch and read a book, he was either sick or lazy. “Go outside! If you don’t have anything to do, I’ll find some chores for you” John’s mother would yell. Reading was not valued as much as, learning how to take care of animals, and his little brothers. John gets up early everyday before school to feed the animals and feeds them everyday after school. Weekends are spent cleaning the barn and doing other essential chores. There is little time for dreaming and deep reflection when physical labour is the family worth. Reading is limited to checking the hog reports and the latest gossip in the local scandal sheet.

Learning your place is very important childhood lesson. John’s mother’s favourite comment was, “Children are to be seen and not heard”. His father’s worldly advice was to, “Remember, he may not be right, but he’s the boss!” In other words, do not make waves and be thankful that you have a job. Parents teach kids where they belong in this world, and lower working-class kids learn right from the beginning, that they are NOT in a position of power. These children will learn about the omnipotent ‘They’, who know-all, and should never be questioned. Discipline includes put-downs and physical abuse. In general, these kids learn to be ‘compliant workers’, but have little else to aspire to - except perhaps a hockey game or a TV reality show.
In my second family, the mom and dad are professional people. They have worked and saved for years for Jason’s medical degree. For Jason, going to university is a fore gone conclusion; it is simply a matter of which advanced degree he will choose and which school is best for that choice. These parents have been supportive all along Jason’s development. From a young age, Jason’s told that he is talented, and that he can be anything he wants. When he was having trouble with math, Jason’s parents paid big bucks for a tutor. After school, music lessons are offered and his hockey equipment is brand new. His parents drive him anywhere he ‘needs’ to be. Discipline involves losing the computer for a night or two. (Gee, maybe that’s where Miss PhD got confused).

In the third family, the mother is an addict and the father is gone. Dad may come home occasionally for a fight, but the kids are better off without him. He is a drunk and a criminal. Joe and Jane are the eldest of five kids from at least four different fathers. John and two of his siblings suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They learn the ins and outs of the welfare system. For Jane, the welfare benefits increase with the number of kids, so having more kids is logical - not bad, not evil, but logical for survival. For Joe, welfare is not enough for anyone to live on, so crime is logical - not bad, not evil, but logical for survival. Attempting to escape, Joe and Jane learn to use substances. The circle is complete.

Our society is appalled at the thought of a little child being mentally abused, emotionally neglected or physically beaten. What happens to that compassion with these same children (humans) now they are over 18 years old? Many of our homeless people are those same little kids that we profess to be so concerned about. The first kid learns labour and works for a living; the second kid learns academics and thinks for a living, what have these badly abused kids learned? Shame, fear, self-loathing and hopelessness seem logical results.

Yes, all humans are created different, and family inheritance plays a vital role. The sins of the father/mother become the sins of the son/daughter in most cases. Now I would like that PhD to explain how she could possibly be so ignorant. She should be thanking her lucky stars that she was born where she was, instead snubbing her nose at those not as ‘inherently’ fortunate as she was.

by xntrk

e-mail: xntrkpublishing@gmail.com